Cat & Fiddle 55 mile Challenge

'That which does not kill us makes us stronger' Freddy once said. Experiences give you the ability to make rational decisions. To know what is an appropriate or non-appropriate path to follow. What will do you good, and what will do you harm.

Right philosophy lesson over. I'm never riding in the rain again. This is a rational decision, brought about by my experience yesterday on the Cat & Fiddle 55 mile Challenge for the Cystic Fibrosis Charity. It was anticipated that around 2,000 cyclists would don Lycra and peddle like maniacs up the Cat & Fiddle, and Axe edge climbs, all the name of charidy mate. I reckon a grand total of a few hundred braved the 'Severe Weather Warning' issued by the Met Office early Sunday morning. My cycling partner (not in the biblical sense) brother Chris (no he's not a Monk- far from it), and one of his more lunatic colleagues from work (Staffordshire Fie & Rescue Service), Ian, braved the elements. In all fairness Ian did attempt to warn us early am with an attempted withdrawal text, but being told to 'Man up', and meet us at the start line was like a red rag to a bull.

Having learnt our lessons on the Etape Hibernia about food & hydration. We made sure these components were meticulously planned. We found out there was a 'Food & Drink' Festival in Stone (Chris's home town), so off we went to sample the local produce. We managed to find the 'Authentic Pasty' and Roasted beef bap stall, which conveniently was right next to the Beer tent. No need for Garmins there! After a relaxing afternoon eating & drinking with the loudest local Rock 'n' Roll band I have ever heard, we decamped back to Chez Chris for some Carbo loading. 2 Massive bowls of fresh pasta Bolognaise (who puts chili in a Bolognaise)? washed down with a nice glass of red. I was mentally ticking off boxes - Rest - tick, Hydration - tick, Carbohydrates - tick. What else was there - oh yes, fill your lungs with smoke to compromise your alveoli, and have a couple of glasses of whiskey to aid the restful sleep, and make the next day as challenging as possible - tick. Chris had recently taken his Daughter Ashleigh to Cuba for her 21st birthday and brought back some 'pukka' Romeo Y Julietta' Habanos cigars (the one Sir Winston Churchill used to smoke). It was such a lovely evening, we sat outside in the back garden puffing away on these beautiful cigars, talking about the challenge ahead, and priding ourselves on getting the preparation just right this time! With a quality cigar such as this what could be better at helping it go down but a 21 year old single malt - could it get any better? Cigar & Whiskey finished we retired to the drawing room to finish the DVD we were watching before having an early night, preparing to rise at 06:30 for porridge & coffee.

06:30, up & at em. Strong black coffee, big bowl of porridge, load the bikes onto the car - got soaked (should have taken that omen). Answered the text from Ian, telling him to 'Man up & stop being a woos' when he was telling us how wet it was (2nd omen missed). Made sure we had our weather proof tights, and Gortex, and drove to the Stoke start line through lashing rain (3rd omen missed). Got soaked unloading the bikes and putting kit (shoes etc) on. Chris gave us a final get out with a 'sure you want to do this?' Now anyone who knows me, or Chris (especially), will know that we are fair weather cyclists, having never on purpose been out in the rain on our bikes. The nearest Chris's bike has been to water was a ride past the River Trent. 'Well I've paid my £15 entry fee & I'm not wasting it' was my reply - spoken like a true Scotsman(I'm Italian, Maltese, Irish).

So quick 5 min cycle to Rourke's Shop to register, and back to the car park to wait for Chris's colleagues (who would be accompanying us on the ride). Some banter with other lunatics in the car park about how wet it was, and it amateur forecasts that 'might rain later' (bloody idiots what was falling on my head now)! We waited for Ian sat on the back of my MPV with the tailgate up (Fortunately at that time the rain was falling straight down). As it happened, Ian was the only one of Chris's 'rufty tufty' firefighter colleagues brave (Man enough) to brave the elements.

Already soaked through (note - need a new Gortex jacket for Christmas), we set off out of Stoke. Good pace given the amount of surface water on the roads. A couple of Pee stops for the man with the bladder the size of a pea, and we were in Macclesfield and the start of the infamous Cat & Fiddle hill (8 miles long 8 - 10% most of the way). Coming out of Macclesfield under the shelter of residential 'wind breaks' was hard, but expected. Then we reached open countryside or the Peak District as other people know it, and someone switched on the worlds biggest fan, and re-directed the rivers down the roads. As if it wasn't bad enough cycling for 8 miles up a 8 - 10% hill, the weather had to conspire against us as well. Oh well, I was soaked through anyway. This hill is also a famous area for motorcyclists to bomb up & down the hill, winding round the hairpins to test their skill - but not today. The only people on the road were cyclists with snorkels! Here we went at our own paces which met Chris & Ian shot up the road, whilst I bimbled along at my own pace enjoying the scenery, and chatting to other slowies! I overtook at least 7 people on the hill. 2 were on mountain bikes, though a 4 x 4 would have been a better option, and OK one was at least 80, complete with a postman pat cape over him & his handlebars, wonder if he was dry under that? But they all count! Jesus, the wind was so strong, and in your face on some of the steepest uphill sections, as was barely doing 5 MPH sometimes. I made the Cat & Fiddle pub to be met by Chris with a hot cup of tea and a Jam scone, just the ticket! Chris had foolishly taken off his wet clothing in the vain attempt to dry them off somewhat on the already over-burdened radiators. Me, I stayed in my soaking gear, allowing the hot tea, and ambiance to warm me. Time to leave, and Chris screamed like a girl as he attempted to put on his soaking, but slightly warmed jacket & gloves back on. Ian had decided not to stop, but to hurry up & finish (sensible chap that he is).

However the weather had taken a turn for the worse, and we were now faced with torrential rain & 25 MPH winds! The roads were treacherous, even downhill (usually a reward for the uphills) were a nightmare, the wind often side swiped you (when it wasn't in your face), trying to blow you down the peaks, and there are some really exposed areas. The descent into Buxton was dicey. I managed to safely get to the junction at the bottom, only to fall off as I couldn't unclip my shoes from the pedals! No matter I simply fell into the river that was the road! Up Axe Edge from Buxton to Leek was a pig. Wind & Rain in your face. It was raining so hard it felt like someone was throwing gravel at you. I must say, I've never been the type of cyclist to moan at car drivers, but the number of drivers deliberately splashing us, or driving too close was a little disappointing. We stopped after a couple of miles of this for another tea, and bacon bap. This time Chris didn't remove his jacket, so no screaming as we left the Cafe! There is a downhill section into leek, that last year I managed 50 MPH. Not this year, I was on my brakes all the way down, but managed a respectable 37.7 MPH. Once we hit Leek and urban conurbation, we were protected from the wind - that was nice. The rain eased a little, that was nice also. Just out of Leek, 5 miles from home Chris managed to break a spoke in his rear wheel. Coincidentally this was right outside a pub. The wheel had buckled so badly it had seized, so obviously he couldn't continue (I'm not sure I didn't see him jumping up & down on his rear wheel out of the corner of my eye)! Chris abandoned at re-located to the pub whilst I continued on my own to the finish to pick up the car and collect him.

So the event completed 4 hrs 50 (with stops), longer than last year, but we didn't have the atrocious weather to contend with. No stopping at the end for tea & pie as is the custom at this event. I rushed straight out to find my little bruv with his feet up in the pub with a pint watching the second half of Man City V Newcastle.

There ends the most demanding ride (in terms of weather) I have ever done. Safe to say, I have learned from this experience and WILL NOT BE DOING THIS EVENT AGAIN IF IT RAINS (my Steve Redgrave moment)!

Any similarities in this account to persons living or dead is purely intentional